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I'm going to college.

Currently Listening Livin' on the Run By Scott Grimes Sunset Blvd. see related

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Well, we can walk these streets forever
Maybe one hundred miles
And I've seen all these faces
Maybe a thousand, just a thousand
Just a thousand times again

We'll be livin' on the run again
Takin' all the life we can
Doin' what we please, holdin' on to you
Ridin' down the highway, yeah
If they take away what's mine
Still you see the love will shine
Won't it be all right? Have a little faith
If you've got the time, I will show the race
Yeah, it'll be all right
Look up at the sun
Livin' on the run
We'll be livin', yeah, we'll be livin' on the run...

Since my last post (20 April), the following has happened:

-Jen moved to Ohio
-My Senior Prom
-The Graduation of the Bitburg Class of 2007
-My family and I moved to Chattanooga, Tennessee
-I became determined to go to Burning Man...next year *grumbles*
-I went to San Antonio for two weeks in July for Jenna's Wedding
-My granddad Darrell was hospitalized
-I read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
-I had my nineteenth birthday
-I got an iPod that works
-My brother started school on Monday and has to wear a uniform. One cool thing - his school's band (Ooltewah High, I think it's called) is supposed to be marching in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
-The company my dad now works for informed us that I cannot receive medical coverage past the age of 18 unless I am a full time student; thus, I am now in search of a college to apply to. Yes, this close to the start of fall semester.

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There is only one college in this area that I wouldn't mind attending, and that's the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, and I'm not sure I'd be accepted. Things are only further complicated by the fact that I have yet to take the SAT, seeing as I wasn't planning on going to college. There are at least three technical colleges around here, but they offer zero courses I'd be interested in. One does have a theatre program, but I...well, I don't know that I can really do college theatre. I'd actually kind of like to major in Communications, but none of the technical colleges offer that. The rest of the colleges around here - yeah, "rest of" - are Bible-y schools, one of which actually ONLY offers courses for you to become a preacher or a nun or something ridiculously absurd. The sites for these Bible-loving schools say you'll be "taught a curriculum from a Christian viewpoint" and "surrounded by a conservative Christian atmosphere". YIKES. There is no way in hell that anything could make me go to a religious school. I shudder at the very thought.

Back before I abandoned my thoughts of going to college, I knew these things for certain: I wanted to go to a school in the northeast, or at least the north and I wanted to go somewhere away from my family - not only because they drive me insane, but because I wanted the full "college experience". I had been looking at South Dakota State University, because it seemed pretty good, plus Liz and Shannon would be going there. (Liz is, and Shannon should be starting next year.) Now that it turns out I have to go back to school, I've been seriously considering applying to SDSU, because it's north (though not as northern as North Dakota, haha), it's away from my family, it offers two different Communications majors - one involving theatre, the other involving journalism, and Liz is there. Of course, every silver lining has a cloud...my parents hate the idea, SDSU costs more than a school here (not that SDSU is extremely expensive - Chattanooga is just cheap, haha), and it's so late in the year and I still haven't taken the SAT or ACT. And what if I apply and am rejected? How the hell can I convince my parents (mostly my dad) that I actually DO want to go there - and not just to get away from them? (And why are they so offended by my growing need to get away? It was bound to happen eventually. Jesus.)

That aside, just LOOKING at colleges is frustrating and confusing and makes me want to cry. How am I supposed to do all this paperwork for applying and registering and, next semester, financial aid crap?? And I still haven't learnt (it's a word, damn it) to drive! I feel so stressed out. I mean, two weeks ago, my plans were fairly straightforward - get a job, learn to drive, buy a cheap car and in two years move to Chicago. Now...gah. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Normally at this time of year I'm preparing to hate another year of school, and now I'm not sure what's happening or where I'll be a month from now. I want to fast forward time so I can be, oh, say...thirty. Being a kid was so much simpler, but I don't think I'd want to live it again; I'm pretty sure I'm one of those people who will (eventually) be much happier once I'm older; once I hit my stride and figure things out a little more. But until that time, I'm going to suffocate on my own feelings of anxiety.

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Currently Listening Life in Cartoon Motion By Mika see related

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You've got a dangerous obsession
Now I'm in need of some protection
That was never my intention
Used to love me, now you hate me
Say I drove you crazy
Well, if I did, you made me
Won't somebody save me from you, now?

My Uncle Charlie, Aunt Stephenie and my cousin Eli (he's four - so cute!) were here for Spring Break. Even so, that was a waste of a 'vacation' and a week off school. We went to Garmisch, but didn't stay at Edelweiss and didn't ski. We went and looked around some stupid castles and some other boring shit. We went to Munich, and the zoo was okay until my parents left me and then got pissed at ME for not knowing where they were and making them wait as I walked across the entire fucking park to get back to the exit. Oh my God - did you know Munich has Starbucks?! Probably the high point of my week.

I passed every class in third quarter except Spanish, but if I get a C this quarter, I can still get a D average and pass for the year. I did have a fifty-something percent in Geometry until I turned in eleven missing assignments to get a 68.98%, which apparently does NOT round up to a C, which is just fucking ridiculous. Anyway, I redid a quiz and I think that got me up to C and I know I got a B in English, so those are two grades that were much better than expected. Not that I'm terrible at English - Ms Laakman's just a hardass. The letter grade matters more than the actual number grade because my school does a thing where each grade is assigned a number (A = 4, B = 3, C = 2, D = 1, F = 0) and your numbers are totaled then divided by seven to equal your GPA. It's actually really great for people like me who squeak by with a 70 and call it a C, but it sucks for the people who work hard to get a 94 up to a 97, you know? Like it even fucking matters, right? It was funny to hear all these over-achievers bitch about it, though. Haha...God, I hate people. I can't wait to get the hell out of high school.

Tomorrow night I'm going out to Club Eifel with Liz & Jen, then they're spending the night at my house. (I know - people? At my house? Crazy!) Yeah, the Club is lame, but it's a lot fucking cheaper than going offbase...especially considering the current exchange rate.

Drama Fest is in ten days...I'm actually going! Whoo! (There was a whole thing with my GPA, but I think that's cleared up now. I think. I hope.) So I got the crappy, ten-line part of Elizabeth Proctor in our courtroom scene from The Crucible and I have to do a monologue cos Dr B didn't want to risk me doing a duet and then have me not be able to go and my partner be completely fucked. I edited a duet from The Importance of Being Earnest that I did with Kyle so that Lady Bracknell doesn't actually require answers for the audience to know what Jack said. I seem to be cast as old, British women quite a lot. Eh. Not complaining - they're fun. I mean, I had a bunch of people tell me how much they enjoyed my scenes as Mrs Sowerberry in Oliver!, though I suspect that was mostly due to the fact that I was a bitch, yelled at my timid husband (Michael Schorn), got splashed in the face with a full glass of water, and was then pushed backwards into a wooden coffin by an 11-year-old boy (Kaitlyn is neither a boy nor eleven - she's twelve. Yep, a lot of difference, there.) I also played Old Sally - old and British, of course. She dies.

Speaking of Kaitlyn - or Little Kaitlyn, as well call her, since the girl who played Nancy in Oliver! is also Caitlin and they're pronounced the same - she was the title character in ACTEifel's The Little Prince, and I am now completely in LOVE with that story! Stop reading this dreck and read something good.

http://www.odaha.com/littleprince.php?f=English

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Currently Listening Stunt By Barenaked Ladies SOME FANTASTIC see related

I intend to write a full entry tomorrow (if not tomorrow, some time this week), but for now this is just a short entry to say that today it's been six months since my surgery and I've healed pretty well so far. I still have at least six more months ahead of healing, but there's not any constant pain and there are rarely any stabbing/pulling pains.

And I'm still glad I went through with it.